Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) Read online

  Maria Macdonald

  Love Renewed

  An Entwined Hearts Novel Book Three

  Maria Macdonald

  Copyright 2015 Maria Macdonald

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organisations or places is entirely coincidental.

  All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

  Editing by Swish Design & Editing

  Formatting by Swish Design & Editing

  Cover design by Francessca’s Romance Reviews

  Cover Image Copyright 2015

  To Maria’s Misfits. Dane’s book is for you. I love you guys and couldn’t ask for a better street/reader team. I adore you all. Thanks for having my back. Always.

  The following is a glossary of terms which have been used throughout this book. These euphemisms and slang words form part of the UK spoken word, which is the basis of this book’s writing style.

  Please remember that the words are not misspelled, they are slang terms and are part of the every day, English lifestyle. This book has been written using UK English and spelling.

  If you would like further explanation, or to discuss the translation or meaning of a particular word. Please do not hesitate to contact the author – contact details have been provided, for your convenience, at the end of this book.

  I hope you enjoy a look into the English way of life.

  Tank – Wifebeater or vest.

  Vajayjay – Vagina.

  Knobber – An affectionate name for a friend or loved one.

  Dickwad – A contemptible person.

  Dedication

  A Note for the Reader

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Play List

  Connect with Me Online

  About the Author – Maria MacDonald

  “Dane, I just need to know you’re okay. You’ve been gone for five days,” Pea speaks in hushed tones down the phone. Baby Eleanor must be sleeping. “I need you Dane. Eleanor needs her uncle,” she whispers and I feel it like a physical blow hanging my head.

  “I know Sunshine, I’m sorry. It’s just work. I have some business to deal with, and I swear I’ll be back,” I explain softly. I hate it when she’s upset. The last thing I want to do is cause her any pain. She’s had enough in her life. Fuck. We’ve all had enough.

  “Do you know when you’ll be back?”

  I sigh at her words and look toward the barn I’m standing outside of. “Tomorrow. I’ll be back tomorrow, Pea. I swear.”

  I hear her exhale of breath. “Good. That’s good to hear Dane. I love you big brother.”

  “Love you too Sunshine,” I reply before hanging up the phone. Closing my eyes, I feel a wash of emotion run through my whole body. I love my family. I’m just not sure if I can be what they need anymore. I’m not sure if I can bear this life much longer.

  How long am I supposed to fight?

  Ever since Nova entered my life again, I’ve been broken. I tried to fix it, but I’m not sure there’s anything to be fixed. I don’t even know what’s broken because she wouldn’t ever be alone with me.

  “Fuck!” I roar.

  “Mr. Matthews.” I hear a voice behind me and spin around. My face is now completely expressionless and hard. “Everything is ready for you,” Dex informs looking away. Even he’s unsure of me these days.

  I nod. “Thank you Dex. This will be quick. Have the car ready to go and clean-up on speed-dial.”

  He nods and moves away. “Of course.”

  I take the few strides to the barn pulling back the door and letting in what is probably the first ray of light in a week. I can smell urine and shit and what I assume is probably sick. I step inside and shut the door behind me. Unbuttoning my cuffs and rolling up my sleeves, I wonder for a second why I put a shirt on. I stop in front of the limp body that sags forward in the chair, the only thing holding him in place are the ropes.

  “Patrick,” I say and his eyes dart up to mine, his face blanching.

  “So, you think you’re a surgeon? Let see what you think of my skills. I’m sure you’ll be aware that there are many places you can cut into a body before the person dies?” I smirk as fresh piss runs down his legs and tears stream from his eyes. “You think it’s okay to harm young girls?” His body jerks. “Oh, you think I don’t know what you’ve done? Tut, tut, Patrick. I investigate people thoroughly, and I’m saddened to find out that Soph seems to have been the lucky one when she was younger. Getting away from your more abusive ways because her mother needed her alive and well. I have, however, found out about the other girls.” I start circling his chair. He has a gag in his mouth because I don’t want to hear his excuses.

  They all have excuses.

  And I have a headache so his screams wouldn’t be welcomed either.

  “So Patrick, back to my first question. You think you’re a surgeon? Well, tell me, when I do this…” I push the knife I had in my back pocket into his shoulder, where he stabbed Soph, but I run it in really slowly, trying to cause optimal pain. He screams out, thankfully it’s muffled, so it doesn’t bother my head. “Will that kill you?” I ask laughing. I think he’s sick, but thankfully the gag keeps it in.

  “I wanted to make this last, Patrick, but I have to be somewhere tomorrow, and you’ve been waiting for our date for a week already. So this will have to be quicker than I intended. Still I have a few hours.” I pull the knife out of one shoulder and run it into the other.

  I have nothing to worry about anymore.

  I have nobody to be pure for.

  Knowing that I’ll be getting a child molester off the streets, and at that thought, I close my eyes and relax clicking my head from side to side.

  “I’m going to enjoy this,” I tell Patrick with a smile.

  Dropping my head under the shower stream, the red water runs through my toes before swirling down the drain. The release I felt tonight was twisted. I used to be this person, but I’ve been doing everything in my power to move away, letting Jenson take on the bulk of the work and having Dex running between the two of us. Today, though, that was something I had to deal with. It gave me pleasure to know that fucker will never hurt anyone else. Ever.

  Tomorrow, I have to
face them all and do it with a smile.

  “I’m glad you came over,” Pea tells me softly. I look down. Her brown eyes—my brown eyes—are big and soft and full of love. For me. Love that I don’t deserve, but fuck, I’m taking it anyway.

  “Me too Sunshine,” I reply putting my arm around her waist and pulling her into my side.

  “I think Eleanor needs changing,” Soph says walking over with the little bundle in her arms. She hands her off to her mum while wrinkling her nose at the smell. We both watch Pea light up as she holds her daughter, whisking her off to change her bum. Soph then looks over to Saul, who’s talking to Con, she bites her lip.

  I give her a minute before saying, “What is it Tink?” I know what she’s thinking. I can read people. It’s part of what makes me so good at what I do. Her eyes widen, surprised that I know what she’s doing. Not one to be shocked for long she pulls her shoulders back and turns herself slightly, moving away from her boyfriend.

  “When are you going to talk to me about Libby?” she asks and I feel my walls coming up. “Stop,” she tells me grabbing my hand, “I know, remember…I know. We talked and I remember your pain, you told me things…things that you haven’t told the others. I’m here and I’m willing to listen. Please talk to me, Dane. I can see your pain.” I swallow the boulder in my throat, it’s not from emotion like normal people would feel, my blockage is from years of not talking to people, years of not showing emotion. Unlocking something that’s imprinted on my brain is fucking hard. I look over to Saul, my brother. I love him, I never thought it’d be possible. I hated him once. Thinking he took my life from me, one that I should have had, but he has shown me that he’s a man with compassion, a man who can forgive, a man that I want to strive to be like.

  “You think you can get away from lover boy for five minutes, Tink?” I ask her with a practiced grin that masks everything. She nods, even though I’m not looking at her, I can see it out of the corner of my eye. “Okay, come over tomorrow, you still got the spare key to my place?” I question already knowing the answer.

  “Aha,” she replies

  “Right, tomorrow ten-thirty in the morning.” She nods.

  “You keeping my future wife all to yourself?” Saul chuckles lifting Soph up and spinning her round. I think what they have is amazing. I once thought I could have that with Soph, and although she’s beautiful, she belongs with Saul. Anyway, when Nova came back into my life I knew, right in that second of recognition, that there was never going to be anyone else. It was and always will be her. She’s burned into my soul. I just wish she could remember. Now I feel like I’m going to snap all the time. The people in this room are the only ones who keep me levelled at the moment. Without them, I’m lost.

  Pushing through the burn, my feet pound the pavement. It’s a steady noise. Focusing on that helps me forget about the rest, everything else going on in my life, it all sounds like white noise, clogging my thoughts. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but it will have to wait. I need to block everything out. I used to be able to do that without thinking, I could just switch it on and off, but it’s been harder lately. I’ve only got myself to blame. I took a step forward, straight into multiple relationships that I could have avoided. Thinking Pea needed saving and I guess in a way she did. But when I saw Pea, I was thinking about Elizabeth, Libby. Huh Libby.

  Fuck! I don’t even know her name anymore.

  Not that I wouldn’t have tried to save my sister anyway. She’s probably the most important person in my life now. Although they all keep me grounded. I need that.

  My life was getting away from me before them. I was letting too much darkness seep in.

  Rounding the last corner and seeing Dex standing outside my house, I come to a stop in front of him, grinding my teeth. “I told you. Never at my house.” It must be nearly ten, Soph could be here any moment.

  “Sorry sir. I needed to get hold of you and wasn’t able to reach you on the phone,” he says taking a step back from me.

  “Then you wait,” I growl. Dex nods his understanding. “What’s so important?” I ask knowing that this is not the time nor place. However, I need to know what the fuck is going on, and quick so I can assess.

  “The latest intel has arrived, but it’s been tampered with. Mr. Jenson wanted me to ask if you would move the weekly meeting up to this afternoon.”

  Nodding I answer. “Fine, have a car pick me up at two.” He responds with his own nod and turns on his heel ready to leave. “Dex,” I say and he looks over his shoulder. “Don’t ever come here again.” He nods again, twists back around and disappears.

  Twenty minutes later, I’ve just gotten out the shower when I hear Soph let herself in. Drying myself and throwing on some jeans and a Henley, I walk down the stairs and hear movement in the lounge. As I push the door open and step inside, Soph has her back to me and she’s staring at the photo of Nova that I’ve had face down for months now.

  “Morning,” I say and she jumps, spinning on her heels to face me.

  “Fuck Dane, you scared the life out of me, I wish you’d stop doing that,” she bitches with her hand on her hip.

  I smirk. “Sorry, Tink.”

  “No you’re not,” she snaps but it’s with a grin that she’s trying to suppress.

  “Come on, let’s get this over with,” I say and her face drops.

  “Sorry Dane, I mean I didn’t want to force you.”

  I smile at her. “Tink, firstly you didn’t force me. However, we both know that you would have forced me had I said no, and you wouldn’t have felt guilty about doing it at all.”

  Laughter bursts from her and she slaps my shoulder while I raise an eyebrow at her.

  “Sorry, but yeah, you’re right…I’m not sorry.”

  I walk through to the conservatory, surprised that it’s now raining and I didn’t notice. Soph sits down and I take a seat opposite, making sure that I’m looking relaxed even though I’m feeling anything but.

  “So what happened?” she asks diving straight in. I debate for a second whether to play dumb, but assessing Soph I realise she’s not in the mood to piss about.

  “I spoke to her, a couple of days after they all arrived. We sat and talked through it. I explained that we were in a foster home together. That we got together, as together as you can get as a teenager. I also told her I went away for a photo shoot and when I came back she was gone.” Grinding my teeth, I force my body to relax. “I told her that I’d searched for her for years. Never really giving up. She said she felt badly that I’d gone through all of that and that she was sorry she couldn’t remember me. Which, of course, made me feel like a dick. I mean, it’s not her fault she can’t remember.” I stand rubbing my temple. “Christ! She was in a fucking accident and it was that bad that she could’ve died. Yet, I can’t seem to get past the fact that she can’t even fucking remember me.” I lace my fingers together behind my neck and tip my head back.

  “I’ve not been in your situation Dane, but I imagine that’s a natural feeling. You still love her. Always have. And now, over and above everything else, you have to battle her memory to try and bring her back to you. Bring back your Nova. Because Dane, she’s in there. Somewhere behind Libby is Nova,” she tells me softly placing her hand on my shoulder. I look down at her and wrap her in my arms, wishing it were that easy.

  Resting my chin on top of her head. I say, “If only it were that simple, Tink. You didn’t see how she looked at me. Like she was scared of me.” Soph wraps her arms around my middle.

  “Then make her see that’s just not true. Show her there’s nothing to be scared off.”

  I sigh knowing it’s just not that clear cut. The truth is if she really knew me…if any of them really knew me, they would be scared of me. They should be scared of me.

  “Did she explain the accident?” Soph asks tilting her head.

  I shake my head no and reply, “She clammed up every time I asked about it. Fuck knows what happened, but it’s something she can’t deal
with.” Keeping to myself that every knot in my gut is calling to me to find out what happened to her.

  “You’re coming to Vegas, right?” she asks and I nod.

  “Yeah, Saul said he’d have my balls if I didn’t. Apparently, he wants Con and me as his best men.” Soph nods into my chest.

  “I can’t believe I’m getting married. Me, getting hitched.”

  “I’m just glad my little brother got his head out of his arse long enough that you didn’t slip through his fingers.” She squeezes her arms around me a bit tighter.

  “It’s only a week away, maybe you could go visit Libby?” she casually throws the sentence out there.

  “Yeah, maybe Tink, although it’s not like I can jump in a car, drive ten minutes and be at her house,” she snorts at me.

  “Yeah Dane, and it’s not like you couldn’t hire a private plane if you needed to Mr. Moneybags.” Shaking my head with a smile my thoughts turn to the possibility of visiting Nova. Maybe I should try again.

  “Jenson,” I say striding into the offices on the top floor of the building in central London.

  “Dane,” Jenson replies.

  “Dex got my message to you?” I nod at him relaxing into a leather sofa in one corner. My eyes automatically move around the room, taking in the exits, places that people could be hiding behind. The window cleaning lift outside.

  “So what was so important that we needed this meeting brought forward?” I question. He moves over to a locked cabinet and opens it. Pulling out a box, he makes his way over to me, setting it on the table in front of my chair.

  “This came today. Our contacts in the US sent it. They want us to look it over.” I stare at the small brown box and wait for him to open it.

  “The contents were tampered with.” My eyes shoot up to meet his. “We don’t know much yet, but what we do know is that there was supposed to be four disks in this box. Now there are only three.” Sighing and sitting back, I cross my arms over my chest.