Love Reunion: Entwined Hearts Christmas Novella Read online

  I narrow my eyes and look up, meeting his glare head on. I need to hear this, even if I already know what he’s going to say.

  “Saul is proud, strong. He’s a man’s man. You know this. You married him. And before that you fell in love with him as that man. It would’ve been hard for him to ask for help. To know the one person in the world who means everything to him… the one person he feels like it’s his job to protect, to nurture, to be a rock for when she needs him. To—” He breaks off and looks away. I can see the glistening in his eyes, and it makes me feel even worse.

  “I still love him. I still want him.”

  “Then tell him that!” Eric shouts furious. My eyes widen, and my mouth drops open. I have never heard Eric really raise his voice in anger, and I wonder how much of it is actually related to his situation with Rich. Even so, my heart picks up speed, and I wrinkle my nose as a tingling starts at the tip.

  He quickly moves forward, crouching down beside me. “I’m sorry, honey,” he soothes, rubbing my back. “I just…” he slips to his bum, landing with a thud and just sits, looking up at me, “…I hate to see this happening to the two of you. And from what I can tell, there’s no legitimate reason. He loves you, you love him back. There’s been no cheating or abuse.” He physically shudders. “I can’t for the life of me understand why you’d be acting so cold toward him.”

  His words slice through me, and I feel like I’ve been slapped as my skin tingles. My mum was the cold one, I never wanted to become her.

  “When the boys were taken away, something shut down inside of me,” I admit for the first time ever. Perhaps even to myself. “I didn’t know it then, but I realise now that’s what happened. So much time has passed, and I’ve allowed myself to be lonely, cutting myself off from him, when he’s the one person I truly need. He never pushed me away, it’s been all me.” I purse my lips with annoyance as the truth allows the tears to crash down around me. “Now I think he’s finally given up. He’s found someone else,” I whisper the last part.

  Eric physically jerks at my words. “Excuse me, missy?” he asks, his eyebrow arched and his lips pursed.

  I shrug, pulling myself together until the tears stop. “For a while he’s been going to shoots on his own. He used to come straight back once they were finished. He doesn’t anymore. Then lately there have been photos on social media. Ones he’s been tagged in. Usually, they involve him and another guy or two with a bunch of women.” My lip wobbles as I finally open up and say the words I’ve been afraid of out loud.

  “But you can’t… I mean… there’s no way…” Eric’s voice dies off.

  Standing, I walk into the bedroom and sit on the edge of my bed. Eric mimics my movements, and once I’ve gathered some lost courage, I open up some more. “I didn’t think it would be possible, but what man can stand being pushed away by his wife for months? Eventually, I mean… if it’s offered on a plate, right?”

  “No. Nuh-uh! Just no…” Eric shoots back in frustration.

  We both sit silently for a moment then he continues, “You asked why I’m here?”

  I nod, searching for the travel pack of tissues I keep on my bedside table. Pulling one out, I wipe my snotty nose and my eyes and cheeks. Undoubtedly there’s a ton of mascara running down my cheeks, and I probably now look like a long lost KISS band member.

  “He called me.”

  My head lurches up in shock. “He did?”

  Eric nods. “I guess you were going to find out.” He sighs. “He’s been worried about you. You obviously haven’t noticed because you’ve been in this little pit of despair, but he’s been trying to reach out to you. He feels like a failure now.”

  My eyes close as a shudder runs through me. I’ve made him feel like this.

  “I have to be honest with you, I’m not sure whether he believes you still want to be with him.”

  The tears well again, and I wonder how many more there are.

  “I think… and I’m not trying to upset you, girlie…” he tells me grabbing my hand and entwining our fingers, “…but, I think he’s at the point now, that even if you don’t want to be with him, no matter how hard it would be for Saul, he just wants you to be happy. So he called us all back, everyone is coming to help you.”

  I jerk up to standing, stumbling back a few steps until I hit the wall, my chest heaving as my breathing’s suddenly become laboured.

  “Everyone?” I ask incredulously.

  Eric just nods and stands up too, dusting his chinos and offering me a little smile.

  “He threw his pride out the window, that’s how much Mr. Alpha Male loves you, missy,” he tells me, and a small grin plays on his lips.

  I drop my head back against the wall. “Fuck!” I blast the word out of my mouth. But while I’m scared and slightly nauseous from worry, I’m also feeling something that I haven’t for months.

  Strength.

  If I’m going to fight for someone, then it needs to be for the one person who I’d never want to hurt, the one person that I love above all others. It’s always been Saul and me, now I just need to prove to him that nothing’s changed.

  I’m vaguely aware that there’s a knock at the door, and Eric rushes off to answer it.

  Suddenly Pea is standing in front of me, her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed on mine. “If you don’t sort this shit out with Saul sharpish lady, I’m gonna kick your tits right off!”

  I give her a genuine—albeit teary—smile. “Love you too, Pea,” I whisper, and she drags me into a bear hug so tight I struggle to find my next breath.

  It’s been a day since he went on his photo shoot. Stop thinking about it.

  “Red lipstick has never suited me.”

  “You’re changing the subject again,” Pea snaps.

  “I’m thinking that maybe now I’ve had my first spray tan, I should try again,” I continue.

  “Stop it, Soph.”

  “Maybe with the slight colour change—”

  “Stop it!” she screams and even Eric’s eyes widen with shock at our quiet friend. “Talk to me. To us,” she tells me pointing to Eric.

  I still at her words. Tears quickly fill my eyes again, and that just annoys me. I’m sick of crying. My heart aches from the pain I keep pushing down, drowning and suffocating in it, suppressing the normal rhythmic beats. Beats that Saul creates, beats that his love gives to me.

  “My heart beats for him,” I utter the words, not meaning to, but knowing they are no less true for saying them aloud.

  Pea takes a step forward and grabs my hand. Eric does the same.

  “Tell him,” she says shaking her head, a warm smile on her face. “You only need to let him know, let him in. That’s all you need to do. He’ll do the rest, trust me.”

  “I’ve hurt him so badly.” I drag the confession from somewhere deep within, where I’d buried it. I didn’t want to admit that I’d done this to us—I pulled away, and in doing so have been slowly tearing us apart.

  “Do you think he doesn’t know why?” Eric asks.

  “It doesn’t matter if he knows why,” I say snatching my hand away and turning my back to them. “Nothing should stop me talking to him. Communication is so important. I know this, and yet I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in my own head. I haven’t spoken to him.” I swallow and feel a hand gently gripping my shoulder.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s really not,” I choke out. “If it were the other way around, I’d be devastated. I can’t imagine the pain I’ve put him through.” I turn and face them both, and Pea’s hand drops from my shoulder. “You know what the worst thing is?”

  When they say nothing, only stare at me confused, I continue, “I’ve been so fucking selfish. I’m not the only one who’s suffered. He lost them, too. He fucking lost them, too!” I scream then sink down onto the floor. “He lost them, too…” I whisper, and both Pea and Eric drop down to their knees and throw their arms around me.

  For a while I rock back a
nd forth in the cocoon of my friends’ arms, silently sobbing and finally allowing the tears to rain, cleansing me.

  I think about the last few months. After we lost the boys, I broke, something inside me snapped, and I didn’t know how to fix it. Back then, I took myself away from Saul because he reminded me of the pain. Now, I find it hard to breathe when I think about the complete anguish that has lived in his eyes since I shut down. It’s gotten worse over time, and that’s all on me.

  I need to fix this.

  I pull free from the shelter of my family and stand.

  “What are you doing, Soph?” Eric asks quietly.

  “I’m going to get my husband, I’m going to give him his wife back.” Then I march upstairs to pack a bag leaving them both with relieved and knowing smiles on their faces.

  We’ve spent so much time travelling that I’ve forgotten what being in London is like, the ease of having whatever you need within spitting distance. I’ve missed it, and that surprises the hell out of me. I would have come back for Saul, I love my brother and I love Tink, but the truth is, I was ready to come home a while ago. Our kids, Lottie, sixteen now, and the twins, Max and James, who are eleven, were happy to come back too.

  I just wanted to give Nova every experience she craved. I told her once that I was her happily ever after, and every day I strive to make sure she never forgets it. We arrived at Heathrow late last night and needed sleep, but now it’s Saturday evening, and I have to know if Saul has a plan. Otherwise, I need to carve out my own. I pull my phone from my jeans and dial Saul’s number. As it connects and rings, I watch Nova walk into the bedroom, a mass of steam follows her out of the bathroom and droplets of water trickle along her skin calling to me and making my dick twitch.

  “Can’t talk brother,” Saul answers then immediately cuts me off.

  All my senses are on alert, and I quickly dial Pea.

  “Dane,” she squeals, answering on the first ring.

  “I just called Saul, and he cut me off. What’s the score?” I ask.

  “Hello to you, too!” she snaps.

  “Pea,” I reply, my tone cutting off her rant before it starts.

  “Soph went to him, to make things right. I would think she’d be there now.”

  I grin to myself and feel pressure lifting off me. I knew they’d be fine, but I’m glad that Soph is the one to make it right. Saul needs that now, he needs her to fight for him.

  “Okay, well Nova, me, and the kids are home.”

  “Yay!” she shouts, and I pull the phone from my ear.

  Nova turns from the mirror—where she seems to be overly inspecting herself—and smiles, biting down on her lip. She can obviously hear Pea and is happy, but to me she’s just laid down a challenge and now I can’t pull my thoughts from all the ways I’m gonna fuck her.

  “Come over, I’ll make dinner.”

  “Okay. Lottie took the twins to the cinema so we’ll grab them on the way to yours,” I reply, my eyes not leaving Nova. She must see my desire as her eyelids drop slightly. I know she recognises what I’m about to do to her… and she likes it.

  “An hour?” Pea replies.

  “Three,” I answer. “Later,” I add, before cutting the call.

  I watch Nova for a moment before she turns back around.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “I’m old,” she says without looking at me. I stand, watching her scrutinise herself in the mirror. She barely sees me looking on. “The years… they wear on us.” Nova leans forward and pulls at her face, looking for fuck knows what. “I’ve been getting grey hairs, and I can see the wrinkles.” Belatedly, she seems to realise I’m still there, and I’m not saying anything. “Dane?” she questions. The waiver in her voice is enough for me to make take the three long strides forward, from one side of the room to the other, until I’m standing behind her.

  “Dane?” She tilts her head back and her eyes question mine.

  “There’s nothing wrong with getting older because Nova, no matter what age you are, there’s not one thing I don’t love about you.” Her pretty pink lips open, and I shake my head not allowing her to speak. “If one more statement of self-criticism comes out of your mouth, I’m going to put you over my fucking knee… and not in a good way.”

  Her eyes widen and sparkle. I can see the lust swimming on the surface.

  “You feel that?” I ask unmoving. I know she must feel my cock bulging against her lower back. Nova nods, and a blush creeps up her cheeks. I know that flush, I fucking love that flush.

  Leaning down until my lips are next to her ear while we stare at each other in the mirror, I keep my eyes trained on hers. “You still make me breathless, baby. You always have, no matter your age, no matter our lives.” I bite her earlobe as my hand slithers around her stomach and slips into the waistband of the fresh panties she’s just pulled on. “Never. Fucking. Forget.”

  Her head drops back to my shoulder, and I run my lips across her back and neck. I lick the water that hasn’t dried and use my free hand to unbutton my jeans. “We’re gonna go quick, then slow, then quick again. You’ll need another shower. So we might have one last quick while we’re in there, with you pressed against the tiles and my dick filling you.” Her eyes widen and her breath stutters. “You’re soaking my fingers, so I’m taking that as your answer, Nova,” I growl in her ear before pulling my fingers from her folds and hooking her around the waist. She’s still as light as a feather, and as I lift her, she arches her back sticking her bum out. My baby knows exactly what I want, the bliss that resonates within me is like a welcomed friend. I use my other hand to pull my dick free, then slide her down on me, fitting us together perfectly.

  Nearly two hours later and my promise of quick, then slow, followed by quick again, has been fulfilled as we both laze naked on the bed, and I take in her still flawless body. All that needs to happen now is for us to shower, where I’ll give her one last quick, then we can go to Pea’s for dinner. My mind wanders back to Nova’s thoughts before I thoroughly fucked her. I want to reassure her that she’s still beautiful because she is, there is no comparison… for me there never was.

  “You still trap me with your eyes, Nova. No matter what age we are, your eyes never change. The light I’ve always seen in them, it guides me,” I tell her, sliding my hand down her cheek, my thumb sweeping along her cheekbone.

  “Guides you?” she questions, her long lashes fan down then up as she blinks slowly.

  “Yes. Your light guides me to you. It always has.”

  Her mouth opens slightly, and as the tip of her tongue pokes out, it wets the bottom lip. It’s enough for my dick to strain against her thigh. I reach forward and wrap my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her forward. Maybe we have enough time for one more slow.

  “She’s becoming paranoid about her looks as she gets older. Is Pea the same?” Dane asks me.

  I tilt my head and gauge his attitude. He rarely asks questions that show vulnerability, even to his family, and especially about Libby. But I’m there for my brother. Always.

  “Yeah.” I nod. “She mentions shit like that sometimes. I used to try to placate her, telling her she was gorgeous. Of course, then she said I was lying to make her feel better.” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he grins.

  “Figures, she’s as stubborn as me,” Dane says glancing over to the women, and I smile.

  “I stopped saying anything for a while. Of course, that led to her being insecure and accusing me of having an affair.” I roll my eyes and Dane shakes his head, a small grin playing on his lips. “I don’t get what it is with them though,” I say with a shrug, and his eyes meet mine again. “Pea, Soph, or Libby, none of them have any reason to worry.”

  “Fuck if I know how their minds work,” Dane says with another shake of his head.

  I’m about to go grab us both a beer when the baby monitor in my hand comes to life with Olivia’s wails. I glance to Pea and nod my head toward the stairs, she smiles in return, and I make m
y way to our baby daughter’s bedroom. Olivia was a surprise for Pea and me. A good one, but a surprise nonetheless. We thought Eleanor was it. She was seventeen when Pea got pregnant with Olivia. We had planned to travel to Australia as soon as Eleanor went away to college, but all our plans were put on hold for a year when we found out Pea was pregnant. As I gaze at my youngest daughter with her puffy red cheeks and bright eyes, all I feel is pure love, no regrets, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her, for them, for my family.

  “Hey daddy’s little popsicle, you want to come to me?” I ask holding my hands out. She sticks her chubby little arms toward me, and my heart bursts. There was a time I thought I’d never have this. If it wasn’t Pea, then it wasn’t anyone, and I was ready to live the rest of my life without having any of the things I’d always dreamed of having with her.

  “She’s definitely a daddy’s girl that one.”

  I hear my wife from behind and turn, cradling Olivia to my chest. The conversation with Dane is still ringing in my ears as I just stand and stare at her. Pea’s stunning chocolate hair is still thick and vibrant, even though she wears it shorter these days. Her big brown eyes are as inviting, loving, and outwardly expressive as they always were. Her body’s amazing and I know, with everything in me, that I love her more than I ever did.

  “I couldn’t love you more,” I whisper, and her body starts, not expecting my words. I take one of my arms from my daughter and hook my wife around the neck, pulling her lips to mine, I kiss her softly as Olivia gurgles. “Thank you for giving me our children. Thank you for giving me you. But mostly, thank you for giving me our life together.”

  I watch as a sheen of tears gather in her eyes, and I’m so close that I can see myself in her reflection.