Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1) Read online

  “Okay.” She checks her cell. “Nine ‘o’ eight. Class starts at eleven for me, I’m going to shower.” She jumps off the bed and grabs her towel and washbag, collecting my empty cup on the way out of the room. When the door clicks shut I close my eyes savoring the silence. As I lay still, I remember the buzz from my cell and quickly pull it out from under my pillows.

  Caden: Oh I’ll wow you all right. Last night you told me that you didn’t have classes today so I’ll pick you up at noon after football practice.

  I bite the inside of my cheek to suppress my grin.

  Me: It better be worth it football God.

  Giggling to myself, I sink back down closing my eyes, mystified and elated at my own willingness to explore a new friendship.

  “Come on, let’s go,” Caden encourages steering me rapidly toward his big truck.

  “Okay, speedy, any faster and my legs will set on fire from the friction.” I pull away from him, frowning at his grin. “Five foot five versus six foot something,” I say moving my hand between the two of us.

  “Two,” is his only reply.

  “Huh?” I question confused.

  “Six foot two.”

  “Whatever,” I huff out and slowly take myself the rest of the way to his truck. I hoist my butt up into his mammoth machine with absolutely no help from the man himself as he jumps in effortlessly behind the wheel.

  “So gentlemanly,” I drawl.

  “Didn’t think you were into men holding doors open for you?” he replies offhandedly while turning on his indicator and making a U-turn.

  I think about what he’s said. Being fiercely independent, I suppose it’s not surprising he would assume that, but I do like a little chivalry from time to time. I decide not to go there today.

  “Why did you and your brother come to West Hayden?” I ask him as we speed along.

  He glances over at me before looking back to the road. I watch his jaw tick.

  “Too much, too soon?” I question, biting my lip.

  Caden shakes his head. “No, if I want to prove to you that I can be a good friend, then I need to start sharing things, right?” he says offering a soft smile. I smile back and relax. He pulls over and puts the truck in park. “My parent’s split up and we moved here with our mom. It’s that simple really,” he tells me shrugging.

  I nod. I know all too well how parents can fuck your life up, so I don’t comment.

  “Anyway, we’re here,” he tells me gesturing behind him.

  I move my head to the side so I can look past him. “Laser-quest?” I deadpan.

  He grins nodding. “Yep. Come on, let’s go kick some ten-year-old butt,” he urges with a smile jumping out of the truck. I stifle a laugh that I feel bubbling up my throat and once again shake my head at the relaxedness—is that a word?—of this relationship with Caden. One which only started yesterday, and yet one that I feel is going to be genuine and important. A sharp pain consumes my chest. The last time I thought a guy was genuine, I found out the hard way that trust is a fragile thing, and sometimes it can end up breaking you in the worst way.

  I stare at the face I’ve worn for the last three years—my eyes never used to be hard—they’re watchful now, almost cynical in their perusal… even of myself. The door clicks as Morgan walks in dragging me from the darker thoughts that start to invade. She turns to her own mirror and grabs her makeup bag. I blink slowly and look down at the towel wrapped around me trying to engage my brain.

  “Are you going to Max’s this weekend?” I ask as I slip my long t-shirt over my head, throwing my towel into the laundry basket and climbing into bed.

  “Yeah, he’s coming to get me tomorrow.” She returns while applying more mascara to her eyelashes. Her mouth is making a perfect ‘O’ shape, and the tip of her tongue pokes out of the corner of her lips.

  Morgan’s getting ready for a date with Aaron, which actually means she’s been getting ready for the last few hours. I’ve had a shower, moisturized, blown my hair out, run my clothes through the wash, got a heap of studying done, and let my mind run away with me, all while she’s been preening herself. Once she’s gone, I’m opening my laptop and finding a soppy romantic movie to watch. That’s my guilty pleasure—it’s something that not one person knows about me, at least nobody who currently is in my life.

  “No date with Hottie McHotterson tonight then?” Morgan asks screwing the cap back on another piece of makeup and putting it all away. She turns and spritzes herself with perfume. “Well?”

  “Oh, no, no date.” I blink and realize what I’ve said. “Morgan, there are no dates, period. Caden and I are just friends.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” she replies with a smile.

  “No, seriously, you can joke with me Morgan but don’t say anything to Aaron, they’re on the football team together remember,” I say sitting up a little straighter.

  “Pfft.” She waves her hand at me then comes and sits on my bed. “Of course, I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. Remember I’m here if you need to talk. Kay?” She winks and pulls me in for a hug. Her phone pings signaling that Aaron is outside. “Right, I’m off. Don’t wait up,” she tells me smiling as she breezes out the door.

  I sit slightly stunned for a moment, Morgan can do that to you. “Right, Stanley, we’re alone, you know what that means… you and I have quality time,” I tell my laptop as I pull it onto my bed. Leaning down I reach for my hidden box of romance DVDs. I pick Two Weeks Notice because I’m in the mood to laugh and swoon. Then I grab a massive packet of Skittles out of my bedside cabinet and settle with a huge-ass smile on my face as the movie begins. While chuckling at Sandra Bullock getting drunk and trying to be a pretzel, my phone buzzes. I reach out and grab it without taking my eyes from the screen. It buzzes again a minute later, and I pause the movie seeing I have two texts from Caden.

  Caden: Larry, fancy a walk on the wild side tonight?

  Caden’s first text states, followed by another one.

  Caden: If you’re not too scared?

  I smile down at the phone before replying.

  Me: Do I have a reason to be scared, Jock?

  He responds almost instantly.

  Caden: Wanna find out?

  I look at the screen, then down at my tee and lastly at the big bag of Skittles half empty next to me.

  Me: I’m game.

  Caden: I was hoping you were. Pick you up in ten.

  I switch off my laptop and stash my DVD and Skittles away. Luckily, it only takes me two minutes to throw on a pair of black Levi’s, black high tops, and my favorite Care Bears hoodie.

  Twenty minutes later, he stops the car at the back of a hotel and we both get out. “This is where you wanted to bring me?” I ask softly tilting my head. I watch Caden as he nods, but he’s still facing forward, his eyes widen in wonder, and his mouth hangs open slightly. I look back at the tall gate enclosing the display.

  This is the sort of place that Aiden would have wanted to explore. The thought pops involuntarily into my mind and causes a stab of pain to explode in my gut. I rub my stomach as sadness courses through my body.

  “Come on,” Caden urges quietly. Then springing up on his athletic legs, he clings onto the metal links and heaves himself over the top of the fence. Leaning back across, he hangs his arms down. “Grab on,” he tells me.

  I look between his eyes and his hands, trying to decide if this is a ride I want to take.

  “Come on… quick, I can’t stay like this forever,” he encourages.

  I sigh and reach up to clasp his hands. “Okay, but if my favorite hoodie gets ruined, I’m going to hurt you,” I tell him.

  Caden chuckles and pulls me up. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he hoists me over the top like I weigh nothing and then drops me gently to my feet before landing like a cat. He brushes himself down and then looks at my hoodie. “Care Bears… really?”

  I shrug. “What?” I reply smirking.

  “Let me guess, Cheer Bear… or Funshine Bear? Tende
rheart? One of those had to be your favorite. Yeah?” he asks suppressing his smile.

  A stream of questions run through my head, the one that’s battling its way to the top automatically pops out of my mouth. “How on earth do you know the names of the Care Bears, Jock?” I tease.

  Immediately he tenses, his shoulders stiffen, and the jovial look he had a moment ago disappears. Instead, his face is now blank.

  “I’m sorry,” I say in a low whisper. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  His shoulders slump and he drops his head. I can see his lips move even though I can’t hear what he mumbles to himself.

  “Caden,” I whisper, worried that I’ve really upset him. I touch his shoulder and he startles.

  Blinking, his eyes focus back on me. A false smile spreads across the lower half of his face. “Come on, Larry.” He laughs throwing his arm around my neck and dragging me forward. It’s all bravado, but I don’t pull him up on it.

  Caden guides me toward a piece of art. If you had told me that this tall, buff jock was even slightly into art I would have laughed at you. But here we are, and as he gazes at the sculpture in front of us I can see his love, his passion. To me, with my untrained eye, it looks like someone took a huge soda can and cut it up. Pieces of what I think are aluminum curl around each other, entwined and arched, like thick spaghetti waiting for its bolognese. I shake my head and take a step back. The look that blazes in Caden’s eyes seems almost intimate, and I bite my lip as I feel like I’m trespassing on his moment.

  “It’s beautiful,” he whispers. I’m not sure whether he’s talking to me or just airing his thoughts out loud, therefore I say nothing. Caden reaches forward and brushes the very tips of his fingers over the figure, caressing it, loving it with his hands. “Something so special, few can see it’s true beauty. To most, this is just a material probably best thrown away but to me, it represents something unique, something divine.” He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, but still he doesn’t turn to face me. “Most people don’t understand and therefore don’t accept it,” he informs me, his voice now cold.

  I push my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie, suddenly feeling exposed, nervous, and in the way, and it’s not because we shouldn’t be here, the breaking and entering part of tonight doesn’t worry me. But I kind of wish I was still in front of Sandra Bullock as she would be making me laugh right about now.

  I glance around, taking in all the shapes in the dark. We’re in the center of some kind of outside art display which is on the grounds of an old hotel, a leafy maze is over to our right, and a wall leading to a walkway is to the left. The hotel is off in the distance, and the make-shift fence surrounding us confirms that this set-up is temporary. I run my hands up and down my arms and kick at the ground. I’m uncomfortable, Caden should have come here by himself. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I feel like it’s something big, and I’ve completely missed the punchline. I need to get out of here, but I can’t leave the way I came in, not without Caden’s help.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and it’s the rawness in his tone, each syllable laced with pain and sadness which causes me to stop looking for an escape route and focus all my attention on him.

  “What is it?” I ask, suddenly all thoughts of leaving have disappeared and all I can see is Caden. The anguish sends palpitations through my body, and I bite my lip to prevent myself from saying something stupid.

  He shakes his head. “No. Nothing,” he shoots out easily, too easily, like it’s a pre-programmed response.

  “It’s something,” I murmur, watching him closely as his shoulders tense. The lines of his jaw move as it tightens, his teeth clenched.

  I release my fists that have somehow closed tight without my realization and breathe out slowly. Time to move on. “It looks sharp,” I say, pointing to the metal statue. He blinks as his whole body relaxes. Caden glances down to the ground before meeting my eyes again. There is a silent thank you in their depths, and he reaches out his hand to mine. It’s a friendly gesture and I don’t hesitate to clutch onto him. He hauls me into his side, slipping an arm around my shoulder and kissing my temple before pulling me so we’re walking forward. It’s intimate, loving, and totally platonic.

  “You really do want to be my friend, don’t you?” My words are quiet as the surprise that he was honest settles in my chest. He halts us both and turns me gripping my shoulder.

  “I said I did,” his reply is coupled with a frown.

  “I know.” I shrug. “I’m surprised is all.” He continues frowning down at me, and I shake my head. “No, I mean…” I huff, “… I haven’t got the best track record when it comes to trusting my gut, but hey…” I shrug, “… this time it seems it was right.” I smile before adding, “Let’s be honest though, Caden, it’s not like guys never use that line to get into a girl’s panties,” I tease grinning.

  Caden swallows and drops his gaze. “Not me, I just want to be friends.”

  I take a second to think over whether or not I’m offended that he doesn’t want to sleep with me, but after assessing my feelings I realize I’m comfortable in his presence and grateful to have made a friend, even if it is unexpected.

  “I still don’t understand why you want to be my friend, though?” I push, trying to hide my insecurity. I don’t have self-doubt with friends anymore, but that’s only because I keep my circle small—Morgan—and I trust her one hundred percent.

  “Laura, why wouldn’t I? You’re different than all the other girls. You see deeper, you think outside the box, you have humility and aren’t obsessed with material things,” he tells me looking at my Care Bears hoodie.

  “Are you sassing my taste in clothes, Jock?” I retort placing my hand on my hip and trying not to smile.

  “Never,” he replies with a grin.

  We walk around the art display, and Caden ooh’s and aah’s at each piece explaining the meaning of the art from his perspective. I try not to look bored because I want to enjoy this with him, for him. My friend.

  As Morgan’s dehumidifier whirs to life, it wakes me, and I blink my eyes open wiping the sleep away and pushing myself up. Morgan is still asleep so I grab my robe then slip it on, and find my slippers before shuffling down the hall to the communal kitchen. I open the cupboard with our room number showing that it belongs to us and pull out all the stuff to make coffee. It will have to be instant for now, as the coffeemaker broke last week and the college accommodation unit hasn’t replaced it yet. I make the drinks and just as I’m closing the cupboard, Selina prowls in.

  “Well, well, making coffee for you and Morgan, huh, Larry?” she snarls with a smirk. “I mean, I assume that coffee’s not for a guy, right?” She giggles.

  “Yep. You’re right, Selina. This is for Morgan. I don’t sleep with a different guy every night, I have too much self-respect,” I snap, grabbing the coffees and attempting to walk out.

  She blocks my path with her arm across the door. “You think you’re so much better than me, looking down your nose and judging. You have no idea girlie, and when I’m dating the hottest guy in school, I’m going to make sure that you regret every little funny comment you’ve thrown at me over the years.”

  I take a moment, place the coffees back down and shake my head at her, amazed that she thinks I’ve done her wrong.

  “Let me get this straight, Selina… you know, so when you ostracize me I know why.”

  She frowns, confusion marring her face.

  “I came to college and as far as I know I’ve never done anything to offend you. However, the first time I met you in the dorm hallway you had a guy on your arm.” I rub my chin. “I’m pretty sure it was Damian Bolt.” I stare hard at her. “If I remember right, I said hello to you both as I passed by on the way to my room. Damian smiled at me and said I looked cute in my Transformers PJs. You took an instant dislike to me after that and have been referring to me as Larry ever since. You’ve been telling people I’m gay or transgender, you have also said I’m
a feminist who hates men. Once I had someone ask me if my family were all terrorists because that’s what you told them. I mean, come on, Selina, who does that shit?” I almost shout as I throw my hands out. “So I tell you what. If you want to escalate this then go ahead, you and your pathetic games aren’t worth my time.” I grab my coffees and barge past her, stopping at the last minute and turning back to add another comment, “Oh, and FYI, I do think I’m better than you but not because you sleep around, but because you’re a horrible human being.” And with that parting shot I head back to my room feeling a headache coming on.

  “Max!” I squeal as Morgan’s brother walks through the door.

  “Hey, kid,” Max grunts as I slam myself into him and try to wrap my arms, unsuccessfully, around his big frame.

  Max is Morgan’s older brother. He brought her up and she goes to visit with him at least one weekend a month. Max is everything I wish I still had in a brother, and he’s always been really lovely to me. He’s a biker, tall and broad with long, dark hair, muscles and tats everywhere. He looks scary, but to Morgan—and me—he is nothing but a gentle giant.

  “I brought the truck in case you want to come this weekend, kid,” he tells me. He lovingly gave me that nickname because of all the cartoon clothes I wear. I look down at my top and see Batman staring back at me.

  “Thanks, Max, but not this weekend. I need to study and work,” I reply, and he nods with a soft smile.

  “Love you, honey,” Morgan whispers in my ear as she hugs me, and I wave as they both leave.

  Caden: Do you have any free time today?

  I stare at the text again. It came through this morning while I was working checkout at Andersons. This is the first break I’ve had, and now I’m curious as to why Caden wants to see me today.